A Story of Awakening 

"At the young age of 12, the first awakening processes began to happen without a clear understanding of their meaning. The emptiness, as the infinite timeless space, alternated with the abundance of worldly phenomena, accompanied by an unimaginable fear of not being able to exist and dying.

At the age of 21, the 'dark night of the soul' knocked on the door. The true burning of all attachments, concepts, notions, and any beliefs began. Slowly but surely, various desperations, fears, worries, and frustrations became more significant and unbearable.

Unimaginable emotional, mental, and physical suffering, combined with very challenging life circumstances and a chronic illness, began to unfold in the following years.

There seemed to be no way out of the hell. Through absolute madness that manifested over several years, including profound depression, hundreds of psychoses, multiple psychiatric stays, and suicide attempts resulting in severe physical injuries, the ego gradually dissolved.

The desperation was extreme, and facing the severe and extreme life circumstances at that time was very challenging. Simultaneously, an undeniable certainty and an inexplicable intuitive quality were present, indicating that what I am is not just a human in a world but something else and, above all, much larger and more beautiful.

At the age of 26, for a moment, all mental activities and attachments suddenly ceased, and the experience from childhood repeated itself. Instead of fear, immense curiosity and interest emerged. The person disappeared, there was no fear of emptiness, infinity, endless space, death, or birth. There was nothing but absolute silence, total peace, unconditional love, happiness, and apparent phenomena without a perceiver. The experience of egolessness ceased after a short time, and the apparent person with all attachments, stories, suffering, and ego reappeared. It was clear and distinct. This is it, this is the truth, this is the goal! The final answer and solution to all problems and worries.

Since this self-revelation, there has been nothing else in focus but meditation. All worldly matters were tuned out. Several books by masters and spiritual teachers were read, satsangs were attended, and any meditation-related videos on YouTube were watched. Lukasz absorbed everything related to meditation. The futile search for truth in worldly phenomena or disciplines such as religion, philosophy, psychology, spirituality, or esotericism was scrutinized and recognized as not 'leading to the truth.'

Several masters appeared one after another in various forms, both in lucid dreams, books, and personal encounters in satsangs. The extreme suffering in all its forms gradually seemed to weaken, simultaneously revealing a new quality that was indescribable in words. Freedom and satisfaction, which knows no definition but is absolutely real nonetheless.
The ego resisted vehemently against content, books, or videos related to meditation or awakening. The voice in the head said: 'Don't read that book! It's dangerous, stay away!' Lukasz went through the fear and did it anyway. The voice calmed down more and more through conscious perception and unbiased being, the very thing the ego fears the most. Psychological sessions were attended, but it promptly became clear that these could not help definitively end Lukasz's unimaginable suffering.

Meditation deepened over the following years. Through continuous reading of various books, spending apparent time in silence and the presence of different masters, the negative thought spiral, the voice in the head, the ego, and all emotional and physical suffering gradually weakened. More and more unbiased presence emerged; misery gradually ceased, and the 100% clarity that nothing worldly can help end the extreme painful madness finally solidified.
Paradoxically, suffering increasingly stopped as I tried less to stop it, end it, or fight against it. Pure presence without distraction and attachments proved to be the best "method" and medicine.
The true nature, as what plays Lukasz, eternal life and unconditional love that knows no space and time, past or future, that ceaselessly shines from itself and does not define itself, burned the remaining ego attachments, and there were no more inner or outer struggles.

It was clearly recognized that there is nothing external and internal, that what plays Lukasz knows no separation, does not differentiate, and does not judge because it is everything that is, was, and ever will be.
The unconditional love that we are manifests as what we call the world. I and you are absolutely one; there is no separation, and nothing can condition or change our essence. For we are God. We have seemingly forgotten and are now 'here' to remember.

Perhaps you are currently on a rocky path, wondering what is happening, the suffering is unbearable, and you see no way out. At the same time, you know precisely that there is something not of the world, something greater than matter, space, and time. You have tasted meditation, the thoughtless state connected with unconditional happiness and love.
Believe me, I know what it means to suffer for years, go through profound depressions, and feel the hopelessness. Therefore, I can understand what you are experiencing on the path of your awakening. I can accompany you on the journey to the self-revelation of your true nature. I stand by your side and explain the phenomena you are going through, so you understand what you are experiencing, which may lead to your awakening faster and with less painful experiences.

Because the liberation from all your constraints, fears, all suffering, all identifications, and beliefs lies in this infinite moment.

Here and Now.

Feel free to contact me.

With love.